One Too Many

Have you ever watched an eating contest? I feel the queasiness setting in just thinking about how many hot dogs the men at the picnic table could chow down, only to squeeze in a few more. Where do they put them all anyhow? In the name of competition and through the relentless gags, these people consume more than ten times the daily allotment of calories… by choice!

You know what is missing here, though? The aftermath. Post-celebratory shenanigans aren’t aired and all we’re shown is the winner, sweating in his bib with a forced grin on his sauce-coated face. What happens next? What is the consequence of eating fifteen porterhouse steaks in a short amount of time? Do the buns he failed to chew before swallowing start to expand and swell the belly hours later, causing an ER visit or worse? That overconsumption of food has to have consequences right?

Ok maybe that was a little too graphic of a start but the intent is to set the stage for a topic even more gruesome than a chow competition. We live in a society of one too many. There are songs celebrating beer, booze, ladies, relationships, material items and vanity. The lyrics don’t read “I had one beer with dinner last night for the first time in a few weeks and it was lovely” or “my milkshake brought my soulmate to me and now we’re married.” The polar opposite screams at us that more is more, overindulgence is popular, and one too many of pretty much anything is the gold standard of today and tomorrow. Music, television, social media, even nights out with friends can serve as a constant reminder of how broken the message is.

One too many drinks, almost maybes, busy days, selfies, hustle hours and nights spent scrolling can cost us so much more than any ad will ever show.

A few years ago I was in a competition of my own. Although I didn’t know I’d been nominated, my entry form was filled out and before I was even aware, I was hustling for that winner’s trophy.

One too many days at work, when I should have been home with my babies.

One too many nights spent with friends or in “fellowship” at a church building when I should have been nourishing my marriage.

One too many play dates with families I didn’t feel comfortable with, just because I felt like I had to.

One too many fake friends who came and went, consuming my time, wisdom and health while giving little in return.

One too many guilt trips from “family” who were more like aquantainces and should have stayed that way.

One too many hours spent scrolling, socializing, selfie-taking and social-selling when my immediate family needed that free time from me.

One too many times spent checking the box at a church building, or fundraising event when I could have spent that time ministering to a neighbor or praying with my husband or reading scripture with my own children.

One too many days spent dwelling on past hurts, rejections and failures when I should have just lived for the day at hand.

One too many lies I believed from the enemy and this world that women are strong, independent individuals who have “what it takes” to do anything. Man, realizing this one hurt! Women need men, plain and simple. There, I said it. God provided marriage, friendship, family, for a reason. Our own grit runs out quickly and the Lord knows that. We need the Lord and we need community.

One too many times I followed my own path only to trip on everything, running into briar patches and steel walls along the way.

One too many times I sat down to read my Bible or a book with the kids and the ping of my phone drew me out of my home haven and into a fake tech world designed to distract me from my own.

One too many foods and beverages I knew weren’t nourishment for my body yet I partook, hoping to remedy my stress, sadness or sleep deprivation.

One too many excuses made as to why I neglected my health and well-being for so long, blaming it on my blessings instead of admitting what was really consuming my precious time…

And the biggest overall “one too many” I could scream from every rooftop in America…

ONE TOO MANY “YES” words

We overcommit so much that we literally don’t know how to rest. The most interesting and intelligent geniuses of old took naps, isolated themselves for periods of time and slept early, long and hard. They took days off to reflect, reconnect with nature and allow creativity to flow through their minds. And our very own Creator, who didn’t need to but desired to model the right thing, rested after crafting our universe. Yet we say yes to every single thing. Yes we will be at the birthday parties this weekend despite the exhaustion running through our veins. Yes we will volunteer twice a week even though our home life is on the rocks. Yes we will work to make more money just to spend it on things we will end up shoving in a closet. Yes we will say yes to spending the “sabbath” away from home, dressed in a fake smile and “serving” others in clothes we spent too many dollars on. Yes we will place everything else in front of our personal relationship with Christ, our marriage and the people within our homes. Yes we will burn the candle at both ends until there’s only ashes left. Yes we will buy into the lie that keeping up with the Jones family is the key to happiness.

Oh man I could go on but what I have learned through better or worse, in sickness, stress, happiness and health is that the most medicinal, beneficial word a human can muster is NO.

NO we will not conform. NO we will not stretch ourselves so thin that we forsake our homes and our loved ones residing there. NO we will not eat fast food every day because we spend more time outside of our houses than ever before. NO we will no go on a double date when we haven’t had time to ourselves in months. NO we will not volunteer for something we don’t wholeheartedly believe in. NO we will not buy into the lie that people are only fulfilled by achievements. NO we will not compromise our beliefs for even a second. NO we will not squander precious moments on a screen. NO we will not agree to that event when our home base needs us most.

It is ok to model our Creator. It’s imperative really. Rest looks different for everyone, but if we could schedule it like we do everything else, it would change our lives. Pencilling in rest would lead to less broken marriages, less blended families, less burnout, less selfishness, less confused kids, less pressure on everyone. What would happen if when your belly of life was satisfied you just stopped eating? What would it look like if you actually slowed down, chewed your modest meal thoroughly and flipped the pages of a magazine? What if you stopped living life like a pie eating contest and actually used a fork, savored the flavor and enjoyed what was right in front of you? What if we all heeded the Lord’s word to be still, take rest, come to Him when we’re weary instead of running to the newest, next best thing? This is my current journey. It’s the redemption song I never knew I could sing. It’s reclaiming my family, our home, this beautiful marriage and the slowness I’ve only rarely ever encountered before. Join me in saying no and start saving your “yes cards” for the things the Lord has called you to do.